h2h Corner ~ Awesome Team Names

So this might not be entirely safe for work (NSFW)/children (NSFC), however I thought I’d do a column on all the interesting, funny and witty/(crude) team names out there. Some of the best are longstanding inside jokes between league mates that wouldn’t make sense here, so I’ve omitted those acts of brilliance.

At the baseline, fantasy baseball is about fun – it’s an intellectual way to use sports and be competitive with friends.

One of the highlights of every fantasy league is its draft. Why do you think the NFL draft is so popular? Because everyone is equal and there is great chance for debate. As part of draft preparation, some owners like to create the most breathtaking fantasy team name possible, while others wait to see which players they get and build from that.

Simply put, great team names beget great trash talk, which begets a strong and robust league. No one wants a situation where people make roster moves sparingly, don’t trade and don’t mix it up with other owners. Team names can really bring the trash talk to a new level.

That said, I’ve cobbled together a list of the best team names I’ve seen in my leagues, around the internet and via Twitter suggestions. Please post the one’s I’ve missed or vote for your favorite. As a tip for those of you who aren’t professional writers, when dreaming up team names, avoid stereotypes and passé ideas, instead maximize upon current news items (*cough* AROD kissing himself in a mirror) and try to focus on individual players. At the baseline, it always helps to be gross and as offensive as possible.

Without further verbiage, and, in no particular order:

Roid Rangers

Fukudome? Fukudoyou! (Does this look like a man beaten by jacks)


No Country for Old Mets/Nen

Saltalamacchia Homesick Blues


Brokebat Mountain

Citizen Cain (mostly b/c I touted Cain as a top 10 pitcher here)

I’m looking at the AROD in the mirror

Loosey Goosies

Take Maholm tonight

My Balls Won

Master Batters

Lincecum in my pants

Better Safe than Soria (from: http://twitter.com/crookedpitch)

Two Burrells one cup

No Glove, No Love

C.C. Cumbathia

The good, the Vlad and the Uggla

Coyote Uggla (lots of love for Uggla, I like him as a player, good name)

I’m Bill James Bitch!

Jeters Never Prosper

Roll it and Byrnes it

It Brynnes when I Piazza/Peavy

Victorino is mine

Don’t act like your Sheets don’t stink

Sportin’ Wood

Who Declars the Delcarmen

Honey Nut Ichiros

Putz & Schmucks


2 responses to this post.

  1. Hi Albert – nice article you’ve put together here. I always struggle with putting together a decent team name, and tend to use one of the generators that are out there. Maybe useful if you drop a link in to help people out – something like http://www.teamnames.net/fantasy/random-team-name-generator or http://www.imsports.ucf.edu/namegen.htm might come in useful for others.


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